New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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