I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
