It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
