You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
