I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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