I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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