I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize