To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
