Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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