Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
