if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
