She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
That was before I lit my hair on fire
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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