cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
