So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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