He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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