I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
