speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
