My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
