Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
