no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
