the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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