It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
