we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
