Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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