please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
