I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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