with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
