So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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