Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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