i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
