come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
