Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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