I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
