it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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