Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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