is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
