i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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