matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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