Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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