Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
