I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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