Sry I called you an 8
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
