I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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