I wanna bring you to show and tell
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I accidentally burped into my bong.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Randomize
