We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
