I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
All I want is dick and wine.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
