guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize