One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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