I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Sext me about skeletons
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
