fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
