oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
