I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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