Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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