Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
