I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
