My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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