smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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