Redeem this text for a blowjob
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
