didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
