I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Just puked most of my soul out..
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize