Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize