What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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