Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
